roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

thumb_up thumb_down -28

every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's one plus one? two.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops