A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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A man walks into a bar

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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