Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Women's rights

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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13 =B you just learned something

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James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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