What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

69

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

FIONN'S LIFE

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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