What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

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Lacrosse

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Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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