- Anti Joke

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk...

Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

boobs!

What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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