what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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