Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

Your mums a potato

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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