Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

thumb_up thumb_down +3

JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops