Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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