When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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The Labour Party.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops