shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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