noodles

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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