What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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Immigration Laws

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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What's your blood type? Red.

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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