why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped sixes mom

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did david give back? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

shut up elliot

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops