Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I am quite mature.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sarah Palin.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call two dog? dogs

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops