Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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