What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

Your moms so old. She might die soon

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

who is smarter than a human? a nerd

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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