A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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your a vagina says you, your a booby

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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