How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops