Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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