- Anti Joke

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

what happens on labor day? the day she has a baby... ya your having a kid

Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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