What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down

Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

thumb_up thumb_down

Who row's? •Liam Findlay

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is Texas so hot? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

thumb_up thumb_down -2

fish fishy caoimhin

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The chickens have become self-aware!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops