I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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Me- hey hitler you lost soemthing. hitler- Vat? Me-world war two.

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Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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