Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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joke hahhahahah where did u find that joke, on the internet

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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