Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So a blonde walks into a wall...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops