5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops