Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Mexican and an American are on a plane. It crashes due to an oversight concerning its weight limit, killing all of its passengers.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops