What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

HEY YOU! TISSUE!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

thumb_up thumb_down -19

WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

thumb_up thumb_down -19

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops