The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What ryhmes with turtle rape

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops