roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you scare a black man? You dont

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Honk if you're Amish!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops