21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Charcoal is black, and so is my neighbor

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Have you tried african food? No. Neither have they!

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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What comes after 69? 70

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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