CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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