what's white, sits around all day, and sucks on tits? a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's funny? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops