Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...