Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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hi dave

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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