Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops