What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops