Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrHirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr can u find the r

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +13

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops