How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Immigration Laws

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The duck didn't cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down -13

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how many flys in a box six --sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops