Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

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Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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