im gay

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scientology.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Why do people make jokes about cancer? Oviously to get thier ass kicked!!! -BY:KOLBY HOOKS

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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