do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

Care to fill in some of the etc etc`s for me? Its not like we are complete strangers one to another either, you and I I mean, I feel pretty secure around you.

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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