What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Asian person drove home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops