A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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