A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

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One guy asks another guy, "Why did the sleeping man get sucked into the sinkhole?" The other guy replies, "I don't know, I heard about that a few months ago, it seems highly improbable statistically. "

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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