Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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Whats the difference between anne frank and osama bin laden? Nothing. They were both found eventually.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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