Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops