what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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Ben is gay

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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Your mom.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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