A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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