Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Christianity.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

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69

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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