Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

thumb_up thumb_down -2

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops